Life has changed some since September :)

I am really not sure where to start. I guess I will start with ME! (the first shall become last and the last first...i know!) ha!
Breena Ra'cee Holt...finding out more and more of who I am. I look back 5 years + ago and I feel sad. I mean...I was a fun girl who loved to be around people...but I had NO idea who I was, or what I really wanted to be. Now, I am 24 years old, a wife and a mother and coming to grips with how quickly life goes by. I am learning how to take initiative in simple daily things...in my desires I know are given by God (talents he has blessed me with) and it's been so freeing!
I am not there yet. I want to just pick up a paintbrush and believe I can do it! I want to see my life 5 years down the road working in my own flower shop and loving every minute of it. How am I getting there? Healing. God's bringing healing to my life so I can live it out more like He wants for me...and not what others want for me. In that way, I am limited...by hearing God's desires for me...it seems as though I have so many wonderful things to accomplish!
Example. Pleasing others and being who they want me to be is so stressful and allows me to feel discouraged far too often. When I let myself set boundaries and follow them, I am way more happy to help others out. When I do not let people around me control me (It's me thinking/letting them...they really aren't) that's when I dig my heals in the ground and rebel. Hmmm? After realizing this...I took baby steps in telling people "no". Not in a rude, or mean way. But in a way that says, "I can't let you control me, or I need to be honest with how that made me feel." It's been amazing!
I also realized how important the stages Cyrus is going through, are. He's wanting to make his own choices and I used to not let him. I figured, if I did it...it'd get done my way...the RIGHT way. Yeah...not successful at all. I am starting to look at little choices throughout the day that he can make, without it being harmful to anyone. WOW! What a difference.
Seems silly, but since I have let him do more...he's wanting to do more. He wants to be the one to take off his jacket...to put in on. If he wants his jacket on at lunch...I let him. It's not hurting anyone. He just put a pair of underwear on a pare he already had on (super funny) but he did it all on his own! He's really turning into a little boy (as apposed to my baby boy) and it's amazing and sad to watch...all in one :)
More on Cyrus Nathan...He's potty trained...AGAIN! He's talking so much now and I am loving to watch him as he struggles to find the words to speak. He's always trying to say things the "right" way. The baby talk is fading...He knows what he loves, and what he doesn't. HE loves to be outside, play basketball, catch, drums...of course! He doesn't like vegetables or fruit, or being told "no". He's not a fan of Eisley when she's being too loud or when I am getting or putting away a pan. But he's my boy and I LOVE him!
His drumming has been improving by leaps and bounds. I mean, he doesn't have any lessons under his belt, but still amazes me when he makes up a new beat...and he likes to act like the other drummers he sees on T.V. or YouTube. What an amazing talent we can truly say comes from God!
Eisley Bree...LOVES TO EAT! If she's not the last one to finish her food, you better be prepared to share whatever you have left. I mean that with everything I have! She's rotten when she sees food that is not hers. She'll do anything in her power to make it hers. She's like that with everything, really. When I block off the kitchen with many chairs...she still seems to find a way to crawl up and over and through it!
Eisley loves to eat, drink, smile and laugh at Cyrus, she loves her family...especially me. Always wants momma. She loves her "minky" (blanky) and sleeps very well when she has it. She loves to crawl up the stairs and cry when it's time to crawl down, she loves watching Cyrus' every move. She loves to get into my purse...I'll be right back! (she's in it now)
Eisley hates to be told "no" especially when it comes to food :) She hates when we let go of her hands when she's walking, and she hates when I leave her in nursery(but quickly gets over it and has fun!) I am still getting to know her more as she grows and excited to be apart of it!
My husband...our marriage :) We've been married for 3.5 years and counting!!! Two babies, a few places we've lived, no house of our own yet, and always unsure of the future...but WE ARE BLESSED! He comes home and I am glad (usually for a little relief from the kids...but also to see him). Our children are healthy and happy. Andy and I are able to share our hearts and dreams to each other and we know it's safe. I know so many couples are unable to do that...and I just pray we have that forever!
We are hoping to wait to have a child until at least next year sometime...we'd like to enjoy our life as it is...get in a place where we know we are to be (a house of our own, spiritually, Our dreams being pursued more, etc.) and allow God to move us in these areas. Grow! Oh, and enjoy being able to sleep through the night!
I know this is all over the place...I haven't even begun to tell you everything...but it's been way too long, and I hope to do this more often in a more "focused" setting.
Until tomorrow...hopefully!
BreeRa'cee!